We got a new black lab pup in August. My daughter and I have been involved with the local dog pound and I guess we got bitten by the bug. I named him Jager because he's black and he smells terrible (like the drink of the same name) Oh yes and he gives me a headache like the drink also.
Our home will never be the same. No seriously it won't because he chewed the trim off the walls in the downstairs bathroom and ate my weight bench.
But I love him and he loves my daughter like you cant even believe, despite the fact that she tortures him unmercifully ( in a playful way). Ever seen a 50 lb dog decked out in bikini bottoms? It ain't pretty. The gym shorts are much better. Yet he always comes back for more.
But there are things that make me wonder about this unique beast.
1. Why does he turn up his nose at dog food, yet I catch him eating his turds out on the lawn?
2. What exactly is on his butt that he has to chew all day?
3. Why does he not bark at all, ever, not for food, treats, not at our persistent coaxing, but goes ape sh-- at the TV at random, unexpected times.
4. How can he be coordinated enough to pluck a tennis ball out of the air with the grace and speed of a ballerina nine time out of ten, but routinely walks into the walls and furniture for no apparent reason.
5. Why does he consistently try to kill me by tripping me down the steps when he has to know that it's me that buys the dog food? Maybe he doesn't know my daughter is going away to a private high school next year?
Oh and why does he keep bringing the ball back to me if he doesn't want to let go of the darn thing? And don't even get me started on the personal attraction he has to his genitalia.
And its said a pet will make you live longer... unless of course he trips you down the stairs.
Doc
1 comment:
hey hows it going.pretty funny about ur dog.maybe he has a skin allergy on his ass thats why he keeps scratching.i had a lab that did that.and he had a skin allergy.
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